5 Steps to Achieve the Goals of Your Dreams

One of the most frustrating experiences of life is when we are clear about our goals but it just seems we can’t achieve them. Certainly life can present barriers that block us but, even so, most of the obstructions in our lives are a function of us.

What does that mean? Well, one of my clients has a very serious illness. Recently, she was complaining about the barriers in her life – lack of income, having to live with relatives, and being unemployed. One day, she suddenly realized that these “barriers” weren’t important. Instead, being healthy and enjoying her life was.

What occurred is that she clarified her values and realized that these barriers weren’t critical. Instead, she decided to refocus herself and to enjoy what she did have.

This story is meant to lead us to closely evaluating what we are “worried” about, to be thoughtful about our direction in life, and to reconnect with the pleasure of being alive. To do this, several steps can be very helpful.

1 – What do you value and how do you get there?

Survey after survey points out that many of us value material things too much. It is not enough to have a car that works well; no, we have to have a Lexus, Lincoln or a limousine. Clearly, we have a great need to sit down and carefully consider our values, our goals and how to begin to get there.

2 – We want it now!

How many children throw tantrums if they can’t get what they want or keep the toy or cell phone that they are told to put away? Too many to count. What this statement points out though, is that we often want what we want now. Internet markets, TV ads and countless messages imply that we can have what we want now! Want a beautiful mate? Then, drink my beer. Want more money tomorrow, then send me $19.95 and I will tell you how.

Instead of this instant gratification approach, we need to be willing to commit our time and efforts to achieve this. No great athlete has achieved this goal without a lot of time exercising and practicing (particularly in today’s athletic world).Athlete, musicians and academics seem to understand that you need to work for a period of time to get your goals. The rest of us have to get this idea.

3 – Stay the path.

To achieve what you desire, you are going to have to work for it for some time. Sure, TV and movie stars, and some athletes get what they want quickly. These individuals represent the 1-2% of the population that is both lucky and talented. The rest of the 98-99% of all of us, can only get to our goals by steady, long lasting work.

4 – Carpe diem.

This Latin phrase is roughly translated into “Seize the day,” or used to imply the enjoyment of this moment or day. While you may desire a beautiful house, a great car and good income, you have to enjoy what you have. These material goals are acceptable but true success is tied to enjoying what you have and using your capacities to their fullest. As emphasized by the proponents of mindful meditation, we need to work to not spend our times in our minds worrying or fretting. Instead, find pleasure in work, in life, in awful weather and in everything in which we are involved.

5 – It may be painful but it will be better.

Often, we avoid painful experiences. Certainly I am not advocating that you go run your head against a brick wall. What I am expressing is that we may have to do things we find painful in order to have peace in our minds. This means that maybe we will have to find a different job, a different career or a different environment to live in. Changing jobs, career or environments can be painful. Or, we have to change friends, religions, social groups or similar social contacts. Again, such acts are painful.

Finally, we will probably have to do master painful acts like speaking in front of a group, learning how to dance, how to run a computer, or mastering skills. Such steps can be painful and only by forcing ourselves to live our values can we achieve the success we may desire.