Personal effectiveness means using our skills, talents and resources to the highest level possible. There are, of course, two separate areas when we discuss personal effectiveness: personal and professional. This article addresses increasing our personal effectiveness in the work place.

The real goal with increasing your personal effectiveness is to use your talents and skills at their best levels, and not necessarily locking yourself in. More importantly, the more effective we feel at work, the stronger our feelings of personal power and confidence become.

With this in mind, how can you go about becoming more effective?

1 – Maintain focus

One problem that humans have is that we have many ideas running around inside our heads. When we are at meetings, when we are working or even when we are taking a break, unrelated thoughts and ideas can dominate our focus and concentration.

At work, develop your ability to concentrate. In a conversation or a meeting, place your attention on the speaker. Notice their voice tone, their facial and body gestures, and just listen to what they are saying. Redirect your thoughts away from home, vacation, work related projects and similar issues. Instead, listen and concentrate. Don’t plan or think of any response to the speaker; your responses will spontaneously appears when the speaker is through.

By quieting our inner thoughts, our ability to concentrate and to understand will increase as will our effectiveness in not only the work environment but also in the home front.

2 – Using a to-do list

This point may seem obvious but I’ve come across so many clients trying to keep it all in their heads and then being angry at themselves that they didn’t get something done. The simple resolution is to create a to-do list of everything we have to do.

Then, go across the list and put an A, or a B or a C next to each items. A items are very important and must be done as quickly as possible. B items are important but are less important. The C items are not important and can be done if there is time.

Your daily goal is to complete the A items and most or all of the B items. The C items, again, are done if there is time. Moreover, such a list allows you to handle any supervisor or boss who comes in with an urgent item. You can quickly bring out your list and ask the supervisor where you should place his/her request on the list. In this way, you know the priorities of the situation and the boss sees you as super-organized, assertive and on-top of your game.

3 – Delegate, delegate, delegate.

It is so easy to think that, since you know the project, you can and should do everything. However, bosses become bosses by learning to delegate. Delegation also insures that you are using your time effectively and allows you to learn who around you is the best at their job.

Delegation also leads to more a team orientation rather than a personal “I can do it” view. When teams are working well, more work is completed.

4 – Learning to say “No”

One of the greatest challenges many of us face is learning to tell others that we are unable to do more. It is too easy to say, “Yes” when you should have said, “No.” This skill is called limit setting and it is critical to master. Using a to-do list or  other technique allows you to quickly convey what you have to do, and is a very polite way of saying, “No, I can’t do more.”

In societies that are so gigantic, it is easy to feel powerless and at a loss for control over your life.    Frequently, there are lines at the grocery store, at movie shows, at the large box stores and even as we drive in and around towns. It can almost feel that every step of our lives is being controlled by someone else.

This belief, that one’s actions have an effect on the environment, is called self-efficacy and reflects our feelings of powerfulness within our own lives. You can increase these feeling of power by carrying out several steps.

1 – Encourage Inter-actions

I’ve noticed over the years that you will see very physically unappealing males with gorgeous females and vice-versa. I’ve often wondered, “How can this be? You certainly wouldn’t expect that beautiful/handsome person to be with that ugly/scarred/limited (you pick a term) person.”

The answer is actually very simple. That ugly/scarred/limited… person is very socially talented. This means that this individual encourages inter-actions. They are open, are confident, and feel comfortable talking about others and about themselves.

You can act just like them by opening yourself to more inter-actions with co-workers, with people at parties, with people at stores and with other everywhere. By increasing your interactions, you will increase your confidence and powerfulness.

2 – Speak up

Frequently, in many social inter-actions, we have ideas, feelings, worries and concerns. In these situations though, we often do not tell others about them. Instead, whether it be a personal or professional exchange, we harbor these thoughts and generate feelings, which we may never express.

In personal relationships, this can lead to an explosion when the feelings are finally vented. In your professional life, not speaking up results in your being recognized less than your abilities might warrant. In fact, early psychological research indicated that people’s estimate of your intelligence is based on how much you speak up.

So, at work and at home, make efforts to be involved in exchanges, to be more assertive, and to reduce any shyness you may have.  Exert yourself to speak up daily and you will find your power growing with every word you put forth.

3 – Recognize that positive actions increase personal power

Did you know that many employees report never being appreciated by those supervising them? Likewise, the Gallup organization found that giving noticing the good work of an employee every one or two days was adequate reinforcement. Wow.

This idea, though, applies to almost every interaction we have. The more that we recognize that those around us desire to know they are doing good, the more powerful we become. Our words and actions, then, can have a tremendous impact on others and can increase our feelings of confidence. So, thank people, give them a great big smile for their efforts, and take the time to express your appreciation of them.

Each of us reaches a point in our lives when we just aren’t as happy as we used to be. At these times, we think of life as limiting and not as fulfilling. We gaze around ourselves wondering about our meaning and our value.

We may be raising or have raised children. We may be working or have worked. We may be exploring ourselves or believe we have explored ourselves. But, all in all, life is not as vibrant as it was previously.

These seven ideas can help put the snap back in your life.

1 – Recognize your role

Instead of trying to put the blame on others, recognize how we got to this spot and begin making a plan of how to get out of Dodge. To move forward, you need to understand that you will have to take on your fears, your doubts, the doubts of others and head toward your goal.

2 – Specify what you want

The more specific and well thought out your goals, the easier it is determine when and if we are moving toward it. By seeing ourselves as moving forward, the happier you will be.

3 – Think it through

Often, I have found people who have jobs just because someone offered them employment. While this may be good on day one, it is often not such a good idea on day 3,651. To determine if you would enjoy a job or a career, ask others, do job shadowing, and truly consider the actual outcomes. What you are doing in this step is deciding what risk(s) you are willing to take.

4 – What’s the worst that could happen?

To take change, you need to anticipate what you will do in the worst case scenario. By inquiring and asking of others, you can begin to estimate what the real costs are. Too often, when we think about changing, we do so from an uneducated or unlearned position. Once you talk to others and read about your potential goal, you will find that the risks are generally pretty small. In fact, most thoughtful real estate investors take on less risk than individuals who rely on their brokers.

5 – What are you willing to risk?

Is a lifetime in a boring and demanding job acceptable? Or, by going to school or starting a business, you could be working in a role with more self-direction, achieving more economic freedom and living life more on your terms. Are these worth the risks?

6 – Is timing everything?

Too often, we keep looking for the right time to take action. Then, after two or five years, we realize that we are still in the same spot. Yes, timing is critical for certain decisions. On the other hand, the time is now for making yourself happier.

7 – Put the pedal to the metal

Act. Do things on a daily basis that make your happier and bring your closer to your goals. A great example of this is a friend’s mother. Her mother did not drive for her whole adult life. During this period though, she owned 30-40 homes in the San Diego, CA area, and, if you are even in Ocean Beach, CA, you may note a round hotel on one of the points. Yes, she is the one who built it. What a story. Not able to drive but able to buy, sell and run rental homes and apartments. You can have a full and happy life like this too.

Early this morning I received a call from a client who was being overwhelmed by his feelings. He was having many symptoms of excessive anxiety, including diarrhea, vomiting, and infrequent panic attacks. He truly desired to have these physical manifestations stop but he believed that if he just had the “right” medication everything would be much improved.

The issue with on-going anxiety states, such as the one described above, is the fact that they will give you the most grief when you really don’t want to be bothered. These anxiety experiences are often due to being in a “rut” of acting the same and doing the same thing. They can only be altered by working on changing our habits.

Certainly changing ourselves is difficult work and change does cause fear and worry. This is because we are familiar with ourselves and don’t like the feelings associated with change. For this individual and for yourself, you must consciously choose to change. There are two steps that can assist you to make this transformation.

1 – Want to change, then get a diary!

In most studies of weight loss, individuals who wrote daily about their food choices lost weight. Likewise, individuals, who maintain weight loss, weigh themselves daily as well as completing about an hour to an hour and a half of exercise.

The main point is that, to change, we need to become aware of what we are doing. Diaries and similar devices allow us to consciously take over our lives. We just can’t allow ourselves to be on autopilot if we want to bring change into our lives. Self-monitoring can also been effectively amplified by creating simple charts that reflect your improvements. Remember having star charts for young children? Well, you are going to build your own star chart to give you a sense of accomplishment.

2 – Rewards Reinforce Change

Rewards help us to reinforce the changes we are working for. For almost all animals, immediate rewards are the most effective. So, if you have attained one of the small steps you are working on, then make positive self-statements that put a smile on your face. The reason for this is that, actually, setting & achieving goals is reinforcing, and should put a smile on your face.

By the way, smiling has been shown to have almost immediate positive effects on our mood. This means that rewarding ourselves for positive steps by acknowledging our changes and smiling is one of he best and simplest reward techniques you or I can use.

Then, once you attain larger goals,  reward yourself not with stuff but with things you like to do. In general, it is much better to reward yourself by activities than purchasing things. The reason is simple. Maybe you might remember when you purchased an item but most decidedly you will remember things you really enjoyed doing.

I frequently write about things I think are very important. Yet, it is easy to overlook topics that you may find of interest.

What things are you thinking or worrying about? What things might you want to learn more about?

Self-confidence is a broad field and one that has many facets, and even has many solutions. What skills or abilities would help you deal more effectively with today? I am looking for topics that could make you have a happier today.

Any and all suggestions would be gratefully accepted (well, maybe not divorcing my wife or disowning my children).

Thanks.

Dan

To develop fabulous self-confidence, the underlying issues need to be addressed. These reflect many of our central self-beliefs but these views of ourselves can be changed with effort on your part.

A good example of this is the change that has happened in psychology in the past few years. At one point, there was a belief that certain “central” characteristics were inherent and not amenable to change. Such attributes were also called personality disorders because they seemed to be negative elements, which were central to the personality of the individual.

Now, however, we have learned that these personality qualities can be changed for the better. Yes, it takes work but it is very doable. Likewise, developing fabulous self-esteem may take work but you can do it.

Here are two critical steps to assist you in changing your self-assurance.

1 – Recognize Your True Worth as a Person

Often our worst enemy is ourselves. Almost everyone has doubts about himself/herself. The critical issue, though, is that we frequently do not try to identify what facts support these beliefs.

Instead, if we think something is true about ourselves, we often accept that idea without any further evaluation. One of my old friends thought he was not very bright. Yet, here he was, earning big bucks as a realtor. Maybe he had problems in school, but his performance as a realtor clearly pointed out his intellectual ability.

Likewise, do your accomplishments also point out that your self-doubts are inaccurate?

2 – Know & Accept Yourself

Knowing yourself is a critical key. Often, we have developed self-views through “faulty mirrors.” A faulty mirror is like the one you look at every day. For certain individuals, this mirror doesn’t reflect the truth. Instead, it reflects the doubts of the individual.

Karen Carpenter, a fabulous singer from the 70s and 80s illustrates this point. She died from anorexia, still believing she was too fat. She wouldn’t trust a scale to tell her the truth about her weight. Instead, she relied on a mirror, which continued to indicate she weighed too much.

If Karen Carpenter could have accepted herself as being “normal” in weight, which she was, her life would have obviously had turned out very differently.

In other words, you need to begin to accept that you have faults and that is acceptable!

You can choose to embrace life and feel everything it has to offer. Or, you can develop an imaginary cocoon of ideas about yourself and your life. By working to know and accept yourself, you can find a way out of suffering by choosing to live a life based on reality, your values and what matters most to yourself. By living in the present and accepting ourselves, warts and all, life becomes better.

Self-confidence is known by many names. For example, self-assurance, confidence, poise, nerve, self-respect, aplomb, self-reliance, and high morale are all words that deliver the message of an individual who has mastered self-direction.

There are also two key ideals that lead one to radiate the assurance of a confident individual. While these components may not fill your general definition of an assured person, they are critical to building your sense of self-respect.

1 – Fulfill Your Needs

If we are moving ourselves to become more self-confident, then we need to be very aware of our own needs and work to fulfill them. If we don’t strive to fulfill our own needs, then we will most likely feel short-changed as we work and play.

This means we shouldn’t be trying to solve other people’s problems. Any parent with older or adult children is very aware that they cannot solve their children’s problems. And, almost all of us know a parent who has gone too far and has tried to do that, with terrible results.

Concurrently, we cannot make others happy. Certainly, if you give a person a present, they will be happy for a while. Then, in a half-hour or a half-day, the individual is back being upset. What we can do is do things that make us happy. Hopefully, others will appreciate that and be happy for us.

Really, this boils down to a decision – working first to meet your needs or theirs. If you focus on making yourself happy, then good things will follow. Now, this does not mean become egocentric. It means working to be sure your needs are met is very important to being self-confident.

2 – Work to Become Self Reliant

Becoming self-reliant is a wonderful goal. This is a critical step as you force yourself to take on the challenges to make yourself financially, spiritually and emotionally independent. Again, this does not mean that we should block out our family or friends.

Rather it implies that we need to be able to take care of ourselves and not be dependent on others. For example, my wife is a short person who loves to have others get items way up in the cabinets. Yet, if no one was there, she would either get a short ladder, a box or some object to assist her. Likewise, we should love to be with people, to have them help us but be able to do everything ourselves if necessary.

This step is developed by learning and doing, rather than talking about doing.

Many of us do not realize how courageous we are. One of my clients, barely 30 years of age , was faced with several challenges. At first, her life had gone perfectly well and she had been able to do almost anything she desired since she had plenty of money.

Then, the situation changed. The first change was the loss of her mother. As typical in most families, only one of the children takes on the responsibility of a sick parent. This my client did. The great gift in this is that she learned to love her mother during this time. So, the loss of her mother was one of my client’s challenges.

Next, times changed. Before, she was able to do and go as she pleased. Then, she no longer was able to earn money due to the economy reshaping itself. With that alteration, she then lost all the objects she had collected – money, cars and houses. So, from living in the lap of luxury, she found herself living in a shared apartment.

Then, her emotions changed. Before, she was happy and ebullient. Next, she found herself faced with depression, anxiety and on-going sadness. She missed the life she had before, even though it had been demanding.

In almost one stroke she lost her fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness and grit. From being a woman about town and the world, she found herself staying at home and being almost afraid to go out the door.

One day, after much thought, counseling and contemplation, she decided to return to school, to take on her negative thoughts and life-limiting views. Though she appeared courageous when she was earning the big bucks, now, handling the pressures of moving herself forward, her true grit is  being expressed.

How about your and those around you? Who is truly courageous? The person who makes all the right moves or the person who works herself upward, handling those negative self-views and making or re-making themselves?

A client once remarked that I have a great job because I get to be the coach who sees individuals succeed over tremendous odds, and he was right.

One of the truisms of modern life is that if you continue to work for someone else, you will never realize your dreams.

To fulfill your dreams, you are going to have to take on risks. One has merely to be around for a few years to see how people can dramatically fail when taking risks. Several good examples are seen in those people who invest in the stock market and in real estate. While each of these (the stock market and real estate) can bring riches, if you don’t pay close attention, you can lose your shirt in them.

Several steps can help you excel in taking risks.

1 – Decide how much risk you are willing to take.

In the stock market, a prudent position is not to risk any more than you are willing to lose. Why would you put your whole retirement portfolio just in the market? Also, if you did put everything in the market, then you had better get the education necessary to make the best decisions and not let someone else handle your money.

In real estate, there are three rules which are prudent for investors, based on my investing in real estate for over 35 years. First, use a good down payment. This is typically 20-33%. Next, do not rely on ARMs or Interest Only loans to get into the investment. Third, spread the investment risk. Specifically, instead of being a single house, if you can, buy a duplex or triplex. In this way, if a tenant leaves, the payment is secure.

2 – Check your timing

In the stock market, the best time to invest is when the market is down and recovering, or clearly moving forward (that is, stock prices are rising). To often, everyone hears about a great stock market and gets in, just as the market loses value.

In real estate, the same rule is true. Buy when the market is low but ready to grow. You can easily check out an area by going to the US Department of Economics which will provide you with the anticipated change in demographics in your area. If an area is growing and the prices are low, then you can expect to make some money. Remember, the turtle always wins.

3 – Act

If you know your risks, have a worst case scenario plan, and know the timing, ACT! Otherwise you will be in the same place 10 years from now and just be 10 years older, and perhaps not even wiser.

One of my personal interests is in real estate. I have been putting my efforts into this arena for years. However, you may be asking how you can get into it.

Here is a summary from DC Fawcett, who provides an estimate for the coming year.
Here’s some good news about the strength of home sales in
2010. These areas (noted below) will be easier to sell homes because they
will take less days to sell. If you live close to any of
these markets, these are great local markets to focus on.

Find the high end neighborhoods in these markets and focus
on the agents that list high end homes in high end
neighborhoods. 

You can pinpoint zip codes to work in by using this FRE’E 
tool that tell you what the average price is per zip code.

Pick the zip codes with the highest average sale price and
you will find the high end homes. 

This is an awesome tool to find values of homes by zipcode:

http://www.melissadata.com/lists/ezlists/ezhomeowners.aspx

You should create a spreadsheet of zip codes with the
average sale price and the number of foreclosures in that 
zip code for the previous month. You can get the foreclosure
data from your local foreclosure data provider. If you don’t
have one, you can get one for fre’e here:

www.thebestforeclosurelist.com

Then pick the zip codes that have the highest home values
and the highest number of foreclosures for the month. When
you do this, you will notice that the zips codes that have
the ABSOLUTE highest number of foreclosures are the LOW END
neighborhoods. Don’t pick those. If you want to learn how to
short sale 15 junker houses, go learn from the Nathan, the
short sale kid. I’d rather do 1 luxury deal per month. 

Also, Zillow now has an app for iphones. 

Check it out at:

http://www.zillow.com/iphone/

More housing markets are forecast to experience appreciation 
in 2010 as the nation’s real estate markets move closer to
 stabilization. The Best 25 Housing Markets named annually by
Housing Predictor hold the strongest likelihood of housing
inflation of all 250 market predictions issued.

Despite the weak economy, home sales are increasing in the
majority of the country and are projected to improve over at
least the first half of the year boosted by the federal 
government’s expansion of the first time home buyers’ tax
credit to move-up buyers.

Propelled by bargain prices, four Ohio markets top the list
of the best 25. Prices got so low in most of Ohio that they
have only one way to go. Bankers slashing prices of
foreclosures and short sales are setting a new standard for
the real estate industry in order to try and save their
institutions from failure.

Twelve states are represented on the top 25 list, including
many midwest and northern-tier states, which have been less
severely impacted by the housing crisis. In all, 44 markets
are currently forecast to experience housing inflation in
2010. As we encounter the most challenging real estate
market since the Great Depression, the predictions here will
be updated and change over the year.

BEST 25 HOUSING MARKETS 2010

Rank-  Real Estate Market-  Forecast

1.       Cleveland, OH            10.4%

2.       Columbus, OH              9.4%

3.       Cincinnati, OH              8.8%

4.       Toledo, OH              6.5%

5.       Lafayette, LA             5.4%

6.       Des Moines, IA              5.1%

7.       Arlington, VA              4.8%

8.       Juneau, AK              4.2%

9.       Davenport, IA              4.2%

10.        Baton Rouge, LA              4.0%

11.        Austin, TX              3.6%

12.       Marquette, MI              3.2%

13.        Fargo, ND              3.1%

14.       Charleston, WV              3.1%

15.        Iowa City, IA              3.1%

16.        Shreveport, LA              2.9%

17.       Bismarck, ND              2.9%

18.       Rapid City, SD             2.8%

19.       Philadelphia, PA             2.7%

20.        Grand Rapids, MI              2.7%

21.        Sioux Falls, SD              2.7%

22.        Morgantown, WV              2.6%

23.       Omaha, NE              2.5%

24.       Bellevue, NE              2.3%

25.        Pittsburgh, PA              2.3%

Talk to you tonight at 8:00 pm ET, 

DC

PS. There are only 11 seats left so if you haven’t
registered yet, do it now before it’s too late: 

http://www.dcfawcett.com/go

Note, I do not have any commercial interests in the information published by DC Fawcett.